The Bonds Between Family
by Mystical Dreamweaver
Summary: Team 7 was a family Sasuke had never wanted, but against his resistance and cold outer shell, the three of them managed to set up camp in a heart he'd long thought dead. With his hatred of Konoha, how will he choose between family and family?


AN: Inspired by the scene where Sasuke tries to kill Sakura with chidori. It happens after his fight with Danzo for those that don't remember.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. The dialogue in the flashback is lifted straight from the manga.

**The Bonds Between Family**

He was weak.

He was pathetic.

He was as sentimental as every other ninja that bore that damned leaf insignia. And he hated it more than anything.

He hated that he couldn't seem to excise those feelings. He hated that he still cared.

It disgusted him that not only had he been unable to kill, but he had felt the need to protect flare up so strongly even after all these years.

Even after he'd sworn to see Konoha burn for all it had done to Itachi, to his clan.

His fists clenched, self loathing burning in his eyes as he threw himself into training.

Punch. Kick. A swipe of Kusanagi.

None of it cooled his burning anger, nor did it distract him from the truth he didn't want to face.

He hadn't been able to kill Sakura.

The desire to protect her was still as great as it had been three years ago when she had caught him in a deserted street in the dead of night. She had asked him then to take her with him. Her eyes had been so earnest as she declared that she would be willing to give up everything to follow him. Back then, he'd simply knocked her out and lain her down on an empty bench. If he had been thinking straight, it might have occurred to him that a public bench was no place for a defenceless young girl at night.

But he hadn't been thinking straight. Her words had scared him, had dredged up the familiar terror of losing family. Coming with him would have corrupted her, would have placed her in inconceivable danger. That fear combined with the desire to protect her from such a future had made him act foolishly. His only thought had been to get away and make sure she didn't follow.

He'd been smarter this second time, although whether that was due to his maturity or the fact that her offer had been decidedly less sincere, he didn't know. All he knew was that when she had laid her regrets out in the open and pleaded to come with him again, those old fears had reignited. And protective instincts he'd thought long dead had come raging to the surface.

It hadn't mattered that her eyes had been conflicted this time, that her words had lacked the same sincerity from three years past. All that had mattered was that she had been making the same ridiculous plea, a request that would inevitably lead to her death.

But this time, he had latched on to control. He had tried to reason with her, throwing his desire to see Konoha burn in her face. He had hoped it would be enough, enough to persuade her to be the one to sever the bond between them, since it appeared that he was too weak to do it.

He hated that weakness, hated that despite all his efforts, he hadn't been able to cut loose the members of Team 7 from what remained of his heart. For all the power he had gained, for all the hatred he nursed, for some reason those bonds held strong. And he hated them for it.

A scream of rage ripped from his throat as he attacked a boulder, feeling no satisfaction even when it crumbled to pieces before him. His muscles ached, blood seeping out from reopened wounds, but he didn't care. Maybe if the pain became too much, it would distract him from these thoughts.

A pitiful, self deprecating laugh escaped him. If that worked, he would gladly surrender to pain for the rest of his life. Unfortunately, it appeared that nothing could stop the memories replaying in his head.

_He saw the minute hesitation that flashed in her eyes, yet her response was affirmative anyway. His cold eyes picked up the deceit in her actions, but he couldn't figure out the reason. Why would she push herself to lie?_

_He had hoped that presenting her with his intentions to destroy Konoha would be enough to shake her resolve, but it appeared that he would have to resort to more drastic measures._

_Dispassionately, he pointed at the prone body at his feet. "Kill her and I'll believe you."_

_She wasn't able to hide her horror and he felt his fears calm at the prospect of victory. Sakura was a Konoha shinobi through and through. She had kindness and compassion. She wouldn't kill Karin. More importantly, seeing that he was willing to just throw away his teammate, she would see him as beyond help, beyond saving, and would finally give up on him. She would be safe._

_But it appeared that he had underestimated her._

_Sakura moved forward until she was standing in front of Karin's sprawled form, a kunai clenched in one hand._

"_Who is she?"_

"_A member of my organization, Taka. As you can see, she's useless now," he answered impassively. "If you kill her, you can take her place."_

_It was as if she didn't even hear his words, frozen before the dying girl at her feet. A quick glance at her face told him how conflicted she was._

_Whatever. This worked better for him anyway. He didn't actually want Sakura to kill Karin. It would be an indelible stain on her conscience. All he needed now was a way to make sure Sakura never got it in her head again to chase him. She was living a good life without him._

_But what could he do? All his actions to date—betrayal of the village, becoming missing nin, joining Akatsuki—none of it had deterred his former team from the notion that he could be saved. None of it had deterred them from coming after him. He needed that to stop. It was dangerous where he was, especially for Sakura._

_A familiar chakra tickled at his senses. Kakashi? Yes, his former sensei was closing in on them fast. He would be here soon._

_The imminent arrival of Kakashi stirred the beginnings of a plan in his mind. It was crazy undoubtedly. If he didn't time it exactly, everything would be ruined. But then again, wasn't that the risk that Itachi had taken every time with every lie he had ever presented to him? Every method of protection always disguised as an attempt on his life?_

_He would do the same, he decided. And hopefully, this would finally convince Sakura to give up on him._

"_Well? Can't you handle it, Sakura?" he taunted cruelly as he moved to her back._

_He formed the seals for chidori, keeping his senses trained on Kakashi's approaching presence. The famed copy nin was almost upon them._

_As he readied the hand with crackling lightning for attack, Karin's eyes connected with his own._

"_Sasuke, don't." The words tumbled with effort from her dying mouth._

_And alerted Sakura to the danger. She whipped around to defend herself, but it was too late. His hand lashed out, aiming straight for her face. Before it made contact, Kakashi suddenly appeared on the scene, grabbing his arm and redirecting it out of the way._

_Success. In fact, this was even better than his original intentions to drive Sakura away. With Kakashi here and what he had just witnessed, he could get his former sensei to give up on him too._

At the time, he had felt successful, relieved that he had at least been able to plant a seed of doubt, if not drive Kakashi and Sakura away completely.

Now, however, he could only feel disgust and self-loathing. He shouldn't care about them at all. Who cared that Sakura would most likely die if she were with him? He certainly didn't.

_Liar._

The word echoed in his head. He shut his eyes as if concentrating would drive it away. He didn't care about Sakura or Kakashi, or even Naruto. Maybe he had cared once, a time long past when they'd been a team, but that was the past. He was different now. They all were.

_Time and distance cannot possibly corrode the bonds between family, between brothers._

The voice sounded disturbing like Itachi's and he resisted the urge to shake his head—such a ridiculous action would do nothing to help. Then again, what could he do to get the voice out of his head?

He halted his movements, not even out of breath from the harsh training. Involuntarily, his hands came up to grip his head. _Stop!_ He screamed in his mind. _Stop it! I don't care about them. They aren't my family!_

At one point, he would have liked to say the same about Itachi. When he had been young and stupid, completely overwhelmed by the slaughter of his clan and the cruel eyes of someone who had once been his greatest idol, he had wanted to deny that Itachi was his brother. That such a monster could be the nii-san he had always admired. But none of those childish notions had changed anything.

Itachi was his brother, a member of the Uchiha clan. No matter how much he had loathed him in the past, it had not changed that simple fact.

This was different though. The two situations were different.

As he felt calm return to him, his hands dropped to his side, the incessant voice silenced. He walked over to a boulder he hadn't destroyed in his fury. With ease, he climbed atop it and took up his natural thinking position: fingers steepled and knees propped up.

He hadn't ever been able to deny his relation to Itachi, but that was different from this. Itachi had been his brother in blood. They had always been connected, even if by nothing else than the sharingan.

He had nothing to connect him to his former team but some pathetic, sentimental bonds that had been transient and weak at best. He hadn't even wanted them as his team, would have much preferred to grow stronger on his own. And he had been proven right, hadn't he? He had grown much stronger seeking Orochimaru and training on his own than he had under Kakashi's tutelage and training with his teammates.

By all reason, he should have been glad to be rid of them, should have been able to leave easily without looking back.

He hadn't been happy. Nor had it been easy.

Leaving Konoha had been easy, even before he had found out the truth. He had just assumed that he would be back one day after gaining his revenge.

Leaving Team 7 had been the hardest thing he had ever had to do. It was something he could only admit to himself in the safety of his own mind, here in the dead of night without anyone around.

He still remembered that day. He had stared at the framed picture of the four of them for what seemed like hours but was probably only minutes. A lot of things had passed through his mind.

Uncertainty: was he making the right decision?

Wonder: why had he kept this photo in the first place? A team had only been a necessary evil in Konoha if he wanted to become a shinobi.

Fondness: the picture captured each of them perfectly.

Hatred, disbelief, disgust: why the hell should he care? They didn't mean anything. Why was he wasting time here?

His determination as he decided to turn the photo facedown. He had done it swiftly after the ridiculous idea of taking it as a keepsake had cropped up. He didn't need stuff like that. They symbolized weakness.

So he had left it, had taken that action as him severing the ties between them. Yet years later, his team still chased him and the bonds between them still held strong.

It shouldn't be so difficult. They had only been a team for six months, half a year. It was nothing, a blip on the radar that was his life. But that blip was like an indelible stain, impossible to erase. For all his effort, he didn't seem to have the strength to sever his ties with his former team.

And they adamantly refused to be the ones to let go.

The voice, so eerily like Itachi's, came back. _Because they are your family, the family you gained after the slaughter of your clan. You cannot deny them._

Ridiculous, he wanted to shout back. Preposterous. Impossible.

He felt a sting behind his eyes, not the familiar pain from prolonged use of the sharingan, but a different sting, one that brought wetness to his eyes. His lids fell shut to hide the moisture from the world, but his head bowed in defeat—because even though he wanted to call the voice a liar, the truth resonated deep within him, like when Tobi had told him about Itachi.

Truth was a truly terrifying power, one as devastating as it was liberating.

He'd finally accepted the truth about Itachi, so he couldn't accept the truth about Team 7 as well. If he did, what could he do?

How could he continue his revenge against Konoha if it meant fighting against his family? Revenge for family against family?

He couldn't choose between Itachi and Team 7. The only way he could continue was to deny Team 7. It was how he had lived until today. He could continue doing it, forever hiding and running from the truth.

Because he didn't know how to deal with it otherwise.


End file.
